The story of us
by Tinkerrbell
Summary: Rikku x Gippal The past between Rikku and Gippal makes it impossible for them to be together. At least, in Gippal's eyes. Rikku on the other hand just thinks that he isn't half the man he claims to be. But then, Gippal has news that changes EVERYTHING.
1. The man i wanted you to be

**The story of us **

**disclaimer: **I don't own any of the character or any storyline that is based on the plot of final fantasy x or final fantasy x-2, normally seen there won't be much of the game woven into this story but you never know now, do you ^_^

**Cha****pter one: The man I wanted you to be**

It all began when I was twelve and you were sixteen. I was in love with a boy and you were in love with his sister. The boy I loved said he didn't love me back but yet when no one was around he gave me hope. Hope that one day he and I would be together. That never happened. And somehow I knew it never would.

Cause deep down I knew I only used my love for him as an excuse to why I should not be loving you. Deep down I had been fighting feelings. Feelings that everybody had seen before I ever got the chance to explore them myself.

The whole town was gossiping about how I would have a crush on you and how I shouldn't act on my feelings because you were not free. Yet you gave me hope. When you met me on the street, in the park or in the city you always stopped and asked me to run away with you. Sometimes I gave in, sometimes I didn't. You gave me hope in a way far worse than that other boy.

But somehow I knew this was different. I knew I would see you walking over to me one day. And you did. You cheated on her when you kissed me. You said it would be a one time thing but one turned into two and now this has been going on for six years now.

Those years didn't form a whole. I have lost sight of you for a while in between, seeing other men, but you always had a way of squeezing yourself back into my life. It was always weird cause every time that I got my heart broken, there you were. I once had a love of nine months and a week after we decided to separate from each other I met you in the street again.

Sometimes I liked the thought that you'd always be there, at other times.. I felt that you didn't want me to be happy. It was as if you knew when I met someone, you knew when I finally got the chance to start a life of my own with someone else. I guess it is my fault that things kept going for so long.

Now that I look back on it, I can say that I'm proud that I never cheated on anyone with you. You cheated two girls to be with me. I never had the heart to do such a thing. Every time I asked you why we couldn't be together you would just answer 'we just can't'. I always pretend I didn't know the real reason but I did…

We were too different, our families were too different and our friends were too different. Imagine me with you, what kind of trouble would that start? The town would be talking again, our friends would look at us from a distance. That really was the only reason why you stayed with all of your other girls. Cause by the way you spoke of them, I knew there was.. I wouldn't say nothing but neither would I say love.

It's kind of a typical Romeo and Julia story only you were never man enough to stand up to the rumours and you didn't even have to fear for your life. You only had to fear for your reputation and the love of your family. Don't get me wrong, I understand why you couldn't be the man I wanted… I just want you to know that because of you I've learned not to believe in fairytales that quickly anymore.

The last argument we had tore our friendship apart. I had asked you to look me in the eye and tell me straight to my face that you had only used me for your pleasure. To tell me that, throughout those six years, you never felt a thing for me. The only words you found were 'we just can't be together, we just can't.' I had always thought of you as a strong man but that image of you broke like a mirror smashed to the ground in an instant.

It was one thing to say we couldn't be together. I could have made peace with that. It's a totally different thing when you deny me closure. In my opinion a strong man should have told me how he felt, whether this would be good or bad. But now, six months later, you made my world tumble down.

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note: I will update, and I will update soon but only when I get some reviews telling me that you want to know more of this story. I don't mind putting work and hours into something, but first I want to know if it's worth while. So if you read this and you get frustrated cause there isn't any update.. you brought it onto yourself. :-) hehe. hope you enjoyed this first part of the story.. let me know if you want to know the rest of it. Byebye for now!


	2. inescapable

**The story of us**

**Chapter two: ****inescapable. **

I looked down at my phone in disbelief. It showed a tiny little envelope with your name written below it. 'No' would have been my first thought. This couldn't possibly be you. I've made it very clear the last time that I never wanted to see your pretty face again. But if I really meant that, why was my heart pounding so fast just because of one brief look at your name. Thoughts came rushing through my mind to explain this 'incident'.

'_Maybe it's not him, maybe it's another Gippal…'_

'_It could be something about his work and nothing personal…I am quite the mechanic so…'_

'_Dad could have asked him to ask me something…' _

Don't really know how much time I spend figuring out excuses but after a while I was sick of it. I decided to just ignore the stupid message. Not the best idea ever. Somehow I had forgotten that I got this phone from my dad, my pushy, want to know it all dad. Sooo he appears to have programmed some high-tech thingy into my phone so that, whenever someone 'important' calls or sends me a text message, the damn thing just keeps on repeating it until I read it or pick it up!

Of course I would not let this thing win so easily. I just stared back at my computer, at the summary I had to make for school, which I was trying to finish. Two to three words later, I thought I was doing very well at ignoring the beeping… and at writing the god damn summary too for that matter… until…

'_Gippal says: We..need..to..talk__. End of message. I repeat Gippal says: we…need…to..talk. End of message'_

'WHAT?' I yelled out loud. I knew my dad was capable of programming such a thing but I never thought he would push himself to programming it in MY phone behind MY back! Anyways the thing kept on repeating the message so I opened it. I expected the words to be divided by dots because the voice had seemed to read so slowly. But… they were not. I guess my dad isn't as good as he used to be. Ten years ago he would have programmed a fluently speaking, fail proof program with his hands tied to his back. Mmmh.. I guess he's getting old.

But there was another, more urgent problem. Why is it that Gippal wanted to talk? And wasn't this some cheesy way to get back with me again? How could I ever be sure that this wasn't some scheme he had been planning ever since the day I kicked his butt out of the Bikanel dessert and back into Djosé temple where he belongs. I knew that if he intended to get back into my life, I would let him. It's one thing to ignore a pretty face when you don't see it, it's a totally different thing to say no to someone you still care about. Then again it's also difficult to erase a text message that appears to be so serious.

My fingers were trembling and it was as if my heart took control. I grabbed the phone in one swift move and typed a short, but effective '_what?_'. The only thing I had left to do is hit the 'send' button. Even a simple thing like that can be hard when you're as curious as I was at the time. I wondered if he even deserved to get an answer from me. Then again, I figured that if there was something serious, I would want to know about it. What if he's dying from a disease even Yuna wouldn't be able to cure? A part of me smiled and imagined him laying on the floor whispering my name and thinking about what an ass he has been. Yet, my inner-Rikku got her act together, told herself that wouldn't happen even if he was dying and hit the send button anyways. As if she didn't care.

I tried to get back to work, honestly. But I just couldn't find the words to write anymore. The god damn guy didn't only take over my mind; he now controlled my grades as well. I decided that this school thingy wasn't going to work before I knew what was going on. So I did what every Al Bhed princess would do in this situation. I went to the fridge; got myself a big bucket of Ben and Jerry's and dialled dad's number.

* * *

'_You've reached Cid, congratulations'_ was the first thing I heard. He always answers the phone in such a way you just got to smile and roll your eyes at the same time. But this time I would let him of the hook on that matter. I had more important things to discus with him.

'_Dad? We need to talk!'_ I tried to be as formal as I could be towards my dad, but somehow it just didn't come out right.

'_What? You got a bone to pick?_' Sigh… that's always his response and maybe I should've gotten used to that over the years, but I still feel like a little girl put in the corner every single time he confronts me like that. But I wasn't going to let him win this time. I was old enough to stick this conversation out for once.

'_Yeah I do! YOU programmed some voice into my phone that just doesn't know when to call it quits! If I don't want to pick up or know what someone send me, than that's my decision' _Silence was all that followed. And after that, an ironic laugh.

'_Now listen up, Missy. Remember who made you that phone in the first place? Yes, indeed, it was I. And if I, as your father, want you to pick up your phone and talk to me… You, as a daughter, are in no place to decide you won't. Have I made myself clear, princess?'_

'_But dad… This isn't about YOU calling. This is about Gippal sending me a text message and me who can't avoid the brat.'_

'_I've got nothing to do with Gippal. Your business with Gippal doesn't interest me one bit. As long as he continues his good work and keeps his hands of of you, I'm fine with him.'_

'_But…' _

'_Rikku, I don't have time for buts. I got a second line coming in, and I'm working on a machine that can go kaboom any minute now. So I'll talk to you when I get home. Okay? Now you be a good girl. Bye'. _

* * *

Urgh. I repressed the sudden urge to throw my phone out of the window right then and there. Instead, I got to thinking. If dad only programmed my phone to be so annoying when he calls, why does the damn thing respond the same way to Gippal's number? This couldn't possibly be a defect in the program, my dad maybe old but he's not stupid. There could only be one person who would want to annoy me this much. Gippal. Boy he will have to have a good explanation for this or he'll be toast when I get my hands on him! I'll let Lulu fry him and I'll make sure Yuna won't be around to heal him for the first couple of hours!

When my anger finally dropped to a… somewhat normal level, my phone made a familiar beep. Knowing that I wouldn't escape what he had to say anyways, I decided to face this text message head on.

* * *


	3. the man who killed chivalry

**The story of us**

**Chapter ****three: the man who killed chivalry**

'_Dear Rikku, Trust me on this one. I know you've been angry with me but you'll honestly regret it if you decide not to talk to me today. This may be my last chance to tell you this. And I'm not telling you this way. Let's have dinner together?' _

I analysed every word thoroughly; trying to find the meaning behind every single one of them. Gippal always changes the way he writes to someone according to his mood or his appreciation towards that person. The 'dear Rikku' worried me… then again the 'you'll regret this' showed that he hasn't really forgotten the things of the past.

I looked at the clock… exactly when would Gippal consider ift to be 'dinnertime'? In two hours? Three maybe… In my mind I went over any minute that I thought I had left and I tried to foresee the consequences of each choice. Should I go… I'd have about one and a half hours to get ready and half an hour to get to wherever Gippal wanted to take me. Then again that would be only so if I would make my decision rather quickly. If I would decide not to go… I'd be sitting here for two hours trying to figure out what the hell Gippal would want to talk about and go over the worst case scenarios. And in the end, I still wouldn't know for sure. On the other hand, not going was the safest thing to do when it comes to my heart. Cause I know that once I'd see him again… I'd lose myself again.

This may look very complicated for such a simple decision… but with Gippal things are never simple. Everyone knows someone that, no matter what happens, you'll always want them close. And whenever they're not around for a while, things are fine. Fine, but not complete. Yet when they are near, they usually cause trouble, tears and heartaches cause you know you'll never be able to work things out. You just hold on to each other, pretending that it's right when deep down you know it's not. And then when they leave again it feels as if no one really makes such a big deal out of it. No one… but you. You are left alone, thinking that you're the only one who sees the hopelessness of your situation. And then, when you finally say to yourself that you'll do the right thing from now on and you've finally began to forget them… they're always there, squeezing themselves back into your life. And you let them. Believe me, in situations like this, things are never simple.

I thought to myself that there were two possible things that could happen if I decided to go. The first situation was Gippal mumbling some sort of excuse to why he had dragged me along and me feeling stupid for believing him. Or, Gippal really had something to say and I'll be glad that I went. Finally… I decided that I couldn't take the risk of not going. I've been through many many Gippal-fases. If this turns out to be just another one of them… so be it.

I send Gippal a text message to say that I'll take him up on his invitation but that he would be obliged to wait at least three hours before picking me up. I figured that if it really was something important, he'd wait. And so he did.

He probably just sat there, watching television or playing with one of his grand inventions that in reality will never even make it out of his room. I, on the other hand, was silently killing myself. I went in and out of outfits and none really seemed good enough. They either made me feel too naked to go on a restaurant or too nun-ish. I decided to throw on my bikini and shorts and above that I'd wear a beautiful dress. That way, if Gippal chose a casual restaurant I wouldn't have to suffer from the heat and I could just take off my dress in the car. If he had decided to go somewhere fancy, they'd probably have air conditioning and I wouldn't feel underdressed. I was quite pleased with my fashion-IQ. But this time I didn't have time to wander off with my thoughts and see myself standing there on the catwalk surrounded by pretty girls wearing my creations… _Sigh. _

Putting on just the last finishing touches of my make up, I heard a car stopping right in front of the house. It was Gippal alright… I recognised the way he always seems to forget to lift his feet up from the ground. Though I knew the doorbell was going to rang, my heart stopped for a minute when I actually heard it ringing. Again I didn't know what was best. Make him wait and scream that I'll be right there even though I know I'll take at least twenty minutes? Or just drop the waiting game and be casual. I decided that being casual was the best way to go. It was as if I was building up a wall around me. One that wouldn't be taken down as easily as last time Gippal came to visit me right after a fight.

When I opened the door, I saw his grinning face with just a hint of amazement. _'You really shouldn't have dressed like that just for me…'_ he said while looking me up and down in a not so subtle way. He seemed pretty content with himself.

'_I didn't. You forgot to mention where we're going... remember?'_ I snapped back at him. I was so proud, cause I felt like I was handling this pretty perrr-fect-ly! No flirting, no letting him make assumptions… yeah I was on a roll this time.

'_Well I was just going to invite you to an Al Bhed café around the corner but since you're dressed like that… I guess I shall have to revise my plan'_ He took my hand and brought it slowly to his mouth. His lips lingered for a while but he let go of me just soon enough for it to still fall under the category of 'chivalry'. That started to worry me. I felt as if he was pulling every rabbit out of his hat to impress. Then again there was really no reason not to let him pay for a royal dinner. After all, if in the end he would be an ass as usual at least I would have a lot of gill worth on food in my stomach.

As usual, it wasn't Gippal driving. The new girls in town were always fooled by that. They thought of him as a gentleman with good manners and a lot of gill. Sure, he had quite a bit of gill on his account. But the driver thingy… that was just a way to avoid having to worry about drinking too much. I smiled because I realised that even though there may have been other girls on Gippals resumay, they'd never quite know him the way I do. It's all in those little details you know? Those little things define whether you know someone real nature or not. Like knowing the real amount of sexual encounters he has had… Sure, it's hard to hear it but when you're in my situation… the honesty you get is the only thing that you have that no one else will. His girls will never hear his full background... that'd just be one stupid move to make.

Anyways it seemed to me that Gippal never really thought of going to a little café around the corner… sitting in the car he pulled out a bottle of wine and two glasses. Now what did I say about his driver? I rest my case. I politely declined his offer and told him that I'd really like to know what the hell was so important that I really needed to know it. I made it very clear that even though we were together in the same car, things between us weren't quite settled yet.

'_Don't think everything is fine just because I've decided to come…' _I looked at his eyes, but they didn't reveal a thing. It was as if he really had no emotional response to what I said. As if that last fight that has been lasting for six months now, means nothing to him. But I wasn't going to let him ruin a perfectly good evening with lots and lots of food on his expense. Silence draped itself around us and left a cold feeling on my skin. I was relieved to hear the driver's voice when he notified us of our arrival.

I gasped when I got out of the car and thanked my lucky stars that I had decided to wear this dress. It turned out that Gippal was pulling out all the stops. We stood in front of a five star restaurant. The only five star restaurant run by Al Bhed… French Al Bhed.

People that come here… I don't think they even own a pair of jeans. My stomach was getting pretty excited, but then I saw the line in front of the entrance. Suddenly it wasn't in a happy mood anymore and it growled in anger. I started to blush but pretended as if I hadn't heard a thing.

I looked next to me and I saw that Gippal was dressed anything but appropriate. He had a pair of jeans, a white t-shirt with even some little black dots of oil on it and a pair of heavy boots people usually wear when working on an explosive machina. My left eyebrow raised itself without me having any control of it. Gippal obviously noticed this and grabbed my hand. He pulled me close to him and got to the front of the line. I was so embarrassed that I even tried to hide my face somewhere in his right shoulder. There was no way they were going to let him in, not in this outfit. Plus, all of the other guest looked at us as if they were all capable of shooting us right then and there.

'_Bonjour Monsieur… your table has been set in the private room just as you preferred. The room is yourz untsil midnight. Tzhen.. you must pay an extra amount of gill. Would you prefer tzhe chart? Or our menu?' _

Of course Gippal chose the easy way out and said that he would be having two menus today. We had our own butler who accompanied us to our 'private room' as they call it. While seating us, he gave us a little background information about the room we were sitting in. When it was built, who has eaten there before… that sort of information. At that time I didn't really care who had sit in my chair before, I just wanted to get some food and quick! After finally finishing his story in awful English he explained to us, well mostly me because it was obvious I've never done such a thing before, how things work when you have your own room.

'_I will be waiting just outside tzhe room and you'll just have to ring tzhis little bell and I'll be at your service. After hearing what you want and bringing itz tzo you,_ _I will leave tzhe room again. Should you want music, tzhat can be arranged. Just ask me anythzing and I'll see what I can do.' _And with that, he left the room. I silently prayed that he left the room to get me something to eat but I realised that the main part of why I'm here was to hear what Gippal has to say.

When I asked him to explain himself, he waved it off with a stupid excuse of 'the night is still young… please, we have plenty of time.' I wondered. All the signs were there again. Was he tricking me again? Trying to win me over with the two things I'm such a sucker for: chivalry and food? No, I just got to keep hoping that he learned his lesson last time.

Gippal never took his gaze off me, not even while lighting the candles. I joked that if he paid so much to get his own butler, he should make that guy light the candles. But Gippal didn't really find it all that funny. _'Look, Gippal, drop the act. You and I both know that this is not your style. This may work for all of your other girls but I've seen too much of you to be fooled this easily. We both know it's not going to work so please just go back to your old player kinda ways so I can recognise you again.'_ Apparently that was more of joke than my previous one because this time Gippal did grin. He still has his ways of getting me annoyed.

'_You... don't like my new behaviour towards you?'_

'_I like chivalry… but Gippal you're the man who killed chivalry ages ago. So no, I don't like you pretending to be a gentleman'_

Gippal laughed and said: _'Every time I was with you, you complained that I never treated you as a lady, that I never took you out in public. And now that I do… You don't like it? Why don't you figure out what you really want next time you want to complain about something?'_

My blood was boiling and I was scanning the room for someone to come in and break off this conversation before it'd get out of hand. Fortunately, I did have some luck this time. Our butler knocked on the door gently and came in with some steaming hot soup. I decided to let the awful remark pass for the sake of trying to find out what Gippal wants me to know.

When we finally got to the desserts, I still wasn't any wiser. Every time I had asked, he had another excuse. _'Gippal… We need to leave in about half an hour… when are you ever planning on explaining me what's going on?' _

'_You're right' _Gippal paused and looked at his half-eaten ice cream work of art. _'we do need to leave this restaurant in about half an hour… but that doesn't mean this night is over, right? We still got time…'_ I hadn't been expecting this. Who knew that Gippal had more plans for me than just dinner? Although, I could have guessed something like this was bound to happen. He sure likes his surprises. He likes the look on my face when he has me where he wants me… pushed in a corner.

When we were done, the butler escorted us to the car. I never saw Gippal paying for any of this. Weird, but I wasn't going to break my head over it. I wanted to know where exactly we were going but as you can guess, Gippal wouldn't tell me. We stopped at a circus tent with a lot of wild animals and rollercoaster rides set up around it. The place was lit by the lights on the attractions alone and it made the whole area bound to be a romantic site for couples or soon-to-be couples. I felt misplaced here. Gippal payed some extra gill to the mechanic of the giant wheel just slightly smaller than London's eye to make sure that the thing would accidentally 'jam' when we were at the highest point.

'_At least now we don't have someone at the door pretending to mind his own business…'_

I held my breath and hoped that he was finally going to satisfy my curiosity…


	4. a restless man in sleepyland

Note: i'm right in the middle of my exams so excuse me for my late update ;-) my motivation though came from darkenedpettals review… cause I know how irritating it can be when you want to know but the author won't budge ;-)

**Chapter 4: A restless man in sleepy-land**

I looked down and the landscape started to twirl and spin before my eyes in a way that I cursed the same light bulbs I had adored ten minutes ago. So if you're ever stuck in a situation like this, don't ruin the moment by looking down!

I was quite annoyed by Gippal and his constant delaying but in a way I felt comfortable in this moment in time, this moment of not knowing. Every single one of us will get this feeling once in a lifetime. It's like the silence that comes right before the storm, right before the bullet or right before a broken heart. It's one of those moments in which you think you heard the words came out of his mouth two seconds before he actually did. As if you knew, in a way, what was coming.

'_Rikku, I'm moving to Europe in three months from now'_ whow, such a delay and then BAM he spills it all. What an anti-climax. Time stood still for a moment as if we both needed time to analyse his words. I blinked, pinched myself and blinked again but nothing seemed to wake me up.

'_Is this one of your mind games?' _I frowned my eyebrows and began to think of reasons why he should possible go to Europe when he has a life here. Sure, it's not always happy good life but neither will it be in Europe… right?

'_No' _Was all he could say. No reason why, no excuses, just a 'no'. He turned back into the Gippal I once knew. The one that explained himself to no one, certainly not to a girl.

'_Well, ever thought of telling me why?_' It was as if he needed a moment to figure it out himself but then he rose his head to meet my eyes halfway.

'_I'm tired of Spira, Rikku. It's all the same, same things to do, same people to meet. I feel like there's more to life and as if this country doesn't want to see it. It feels like every one around me is… asleep' _he grinned. His speech seemed to be pulled from a movie scene. Then again, everything about the story between me and Gippal seemed to be pulled from a movie scene.

'_ASLEEP?_' I yelled out. '_Have you forgotten Sin, Vegnagun and all of the other enemies we've fought? You won't find those kind of things in Europe you know…'_ At least I hope he wouldn't.

'_You fought Sin and all of those other things, Rikku. Your life may be here but mine is still trying to find it's place. I feel restless and there's nothing here to calm me down. There's nothing here that binds me to this place.' _

That was like taking a bullet. Hearing him say that he had nothing to stay here for. Nothing… that includes me I guess. Since when have I become part of the nothingness? Sure, he never felt the way I did. I knew that… but… wasn't our friendship enough? Or at least… All those times that I cried about the fact he only kept coming back for one thing meant nothing now. Now I wished that he would be coming back for that… or anything else for that matter. I would even be jumping around the place if he decided to stay for one of his other girlfriends. I'd rather have him in my life and with someone else than not in my life and.. well probably with someone else too! I was losing the love-game with a 2 to 0 score in favour of Gippal.

'_So… when will you be back?_' I asked, trying to play it cool.

'_Normally in a year or so… but you never really know I guess._' He smiled at me as if he had just told me he had won the lottery. He seemed so happy that I felt obliged to feel the same way too. But I just couldn't do it.

'_But.. haven't you got a girl? What has she got to say about this? Is she coming with you?_' In a way I didn't wanted to know the answer. If she would go with him, I'd kill her before she ever make it to the airport.

'_I do, but she knows about my plans and I've made them before I ever met her. And no, she's not coming. I'm going alone.' _

I tried to cram some kind of logic into this story but any way I turned the facts, they just didn't make any sense. Who wants to leave a perfectly good life for some uncertain destiny on their own for god sake! What if something happens… would I even know it? The wheel started moving again and I felt that my time was running out. In a few minutes we'd be back on solid ground and it'd be time to go home. Time to separate and be alone with thoughts I didn't want to have in the first place.

'_Why are you telling me this? I haven't heard from you so long, why tell me?'_ not the most subtle question, I know. Secretly I was hoping for some movie scene in which he would ask me to run away together or something like that. But that never came.

'_I just didn't want to leave in a fight. Come on… we've always had our ways of squeezing ourselves back into each others lives… I couldn'__t leave in one of those fazes in which we don't speak to each other now could I?'_ He winked at me. I felt like this whole night has been nothing but entertainment to him. Just one of the days he has left in this boring country that he has to try and fill up with some sort of activity. I guess I just was on his list of things to do today.

The time it took to get back to the car seemed much longer now. Not a word was said. Normally it was always me who filled up those empty spaces but now I just couldn't bring myself to it. Gippal started whistling as if everything was the same as ever. I guess for him they were…

We pulled up at my driveway and I knew this was the moment. Inviting him in or letting him go not knowing if I'll see him again before he leaves. My heart was pounding and it felt as if the whole world could see. Gippal stared at me, waiting. He always leaves the door-game to me. If I invited him in, that'd be fine with him. If I didn't… I guess that'd be fine with him too. I never really tried that option. Would this be the first time that I did?


	5. a heart as the only victim

**Note**: First of all I'd like to wish all the best to all of you for 2009, I'm sure you've all got your wishes ready and I for one hope that they'll all come true. Next I want you to know that the m-key is missing so it'll be hard to type for me. I hope you'll all understand that this chapter might be shorter and might contain some more typos than usual. Sorry for that.

**Chapter 5: ****a heart as the only victim**

I didn't know what to do but I tried to let it go unnoticed. We both stood at the door in an awkward silence but as usual the only one who was nervous was me. I looked at my feet then gazed into Gippal's eyes but shortly found my way back to my feet again.

"_Isn't it weird?"_ Gippal said. I looked at him with my mouth right open. Was he actually annoyed by this? That sure would be a first! "_You always used to be there on my birthday, you'd never miss it. This is the first fight that lasted long enough." _

It's not like I had forgotten his birthday, I had actually cursed that day. Back then I was sitting in my room writing over twenty birthday cards before I finally decided not to send anything. I was constantly playing with my mobile phone, asking myself if I should at least send him a text message. It was indeed the first of his birthdays that I had missed. But I took comfort in the fact that he had always forgotten mine. I guess that is worse than knowing what's happening but choosing not to act on it. Still I felt guilty. How could I send him home now? I hadn't even expected him to notice I hadn't sent him anything. Now that he did, I felt like I was obligated to invite him in.

"_Yeah. I thought it wasn't appropriate to send you something…"_ Silence found it's way back to the space between me and Gippal. I thought it was time to get this thing over with_. "Well better go in unless you want my legs to freeze off!"_ and so we did.

We went to my room just because we were used to that. Somehow it made talking much easier. I searched some drawers and found the cards I had written for Gippal. I knew which one I wanted to give to him back then and I decided that I didn't have enough time to rethink that. I looked at it one last time, without reading what it said and let destiny take over.

I threw the card on his lap and he looked at me as if he had seen a ghost. I guess he wasn't the type that'd even think of writing a card when he's in a fight with someone. He opened it and said "_Birthdays really are your thing, right?"_ as he winked my way. I felt my cheeks burning up but decided not to act. So this is what he thought of birthdays. Something you only pay attention to if they're 'your thing'.

Apparently I had forgotten that I also gave him some sort of gift coupon. It said that I now owed him some random things, unconditional friendship and… one kiss for each year. Destiny's a bitch. He ignored it though. He put it back in the envelope and put it aside for now. He asked me for three kisses on the cheek and that was it.

I asked him to move a bit so I could sit beside him on the bed. He did so and grinned. Whenever Gippal grins, you should just let it pass. If you react on it, you'll make things worse and Gippal has a way of only grinning when he knew he could win hands down. Again, that was one of the things only I would know, so I smiled.

Somewhere in the conversation we winded up laying down beside each other and laughing about the stupidest things. For the first time in years I felt like he was there for me… nothing else. His phone started ringing. I knew this night was over now. Someone would have some party to go to and he surely wouldn't say no.

He answered the phone, asked what was up and told the guy on the other side he'd be there in about ten minutes. When he got off the phone though, he didn't move an inch. Instead he made himself comfortable and took in about all the space there was.

Then, he finally brought it up. He demanded his birthday kisses. I rolled over and gave them one by one, making sure I'd stay far out of the danger zone. My heart was beating faster with each kiss and by the last three I felt as if it was protesting against my stay-out-of-the-danger-zone strategy. But I bravely and quickly ended its suffering. I wish I could say it was a painless death, but at least it was a quick one with dignity.

A smile tucked at Gippal's lips. He rolled over so that I ended up underneath him_. "Now…" _he paused and looked my body up and down as I prepared to turn him down if he wanted to kiss me. "_What about… your birthday kisses_" I gasped. Somehow he remembered.

"What, you don't want them?" He asked when I took to long to answer. I took a deep breath to make sure I wouldn't stutter.

"Sure, I guess…" But I should've known that he wasn't about to stay out of the danger zone. With each kiss he got closer and closer and lowered his body lower and lower, but he never faced my lips head on though. My heart was being victimized and I wondered how much torturing it would accept before it'd finally pack its bags and leave.

Gippal still left the choice to me. I knew that if I moved the slightest bit, we'd be out of our clothes before we had a chance to realise it. So I kept as still as possible. He finally decided to give my heart a break and stood up. He took his jacket, gave me one last kiss that lasted long enough to recognise his cologne.

"_I'll see you next weekend_" and with that… he was gone. It was as if he had taken all of the furniture with him because the house now seemed so damn empty. And there I was, in the middle of the silence, unable to move. In the background I heard the radio playing Jewel's song… foolish games.

**Note: for those not knowing the song, here are the lyrics to it. ****I left some parts out that didn't really fit but not that much really.**

You took your coat off and stood in the rain,  
You're always crazy like that.  
And I watched from my window,  
Always felt I was outside looking in on you.  
You're always the mysterious one with  
Dark eyes and careless hair,  
You were fashionably sensitive  
But too cool to care.  
You stood in my doorway, with nothing to say  
Besides some comment on the weather.

Well in case you failed to notice,  
In case you failed to see,  
This is my heart bleeding before you,  
This is me down on my knees, and...

These foolish games are tearing me apart,  
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.  
You're breaking my heart.  
You're always brilliant in the morning,  
you'd speak of your loved ones  
As I clumsily strummed my guitar.

You'd teach me of honest things  
Things that were daring, things that were clean  
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean  
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back  
Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you

Well, excuse me, guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,  
Somebody who gave a damn,  
Somebody more like myself.

These foolish games are tearing me

You're tearing me, you're tearing me, you're tearing me apart  
And your thoughtless words are breaking my heart.  
You're breaking my heart.


End file.
